Guarding His Eyes

Yesterday a very bad commercial was on and my lil guy looked down. My heart rejoiced and tears welled up. I know this should not have even happened and I feel guilty. I tape the show as to ff through those nasty things and my hands were busy on the phone when he walked through the room. I am thankful the Lord went before him and the Spirit of the Living God worked through my lil guy and he yielded.

There is so much out there to protect our children from. While I am not as I would like to be, I am not as I used to be.

Being the mom of onlies has different challenges
than that of moms with many children. I think too often I feel like I don't have as much value as a mom, but I know it is not true. I am raising a generation of sons that love the Lord with all their hearts, that love their wives as Christ loved the church, fathers that don't provoke their children to wrath, future men who will be men of honor and grit, who do good all the days of their lives. So if the Lord sees fit, that these are my onlies to Him be the glory.

Offices

No small task as you know getting things in order. We are moving books and stuff around to hopefully make the most (our) of time for the days are evil. Eph 5:16

Keeping a small home office to keep our family together is going to be a good thing. Even though E has to go out to do the work, this is his first and last stop of the day. Coffee brewing at his finger tips, and a desk and chair to get things done. Well his desk is not in yet. He just gave me the roll top he had been using. It now is squeezed in our humble school room/den/ guest room. That's the room E made for my niece while we schooled her through high school.

I know things are hard for lots of people now, we are some of them, but I am so in awe of a Father who loves me so much that He is in control letting me grow into the daughter, wife, and mother He wants me to be that He makes it easier in my life to rest in that. So I will confess with my keypad Jesus is Lord of my life, lifter of my soul, that it is well with me. Apart from him I can do nothing, with him all things are possible... Thanks Dad!

20 Years Later...

I started this earlier this week but I lost everything I wrote, bummer. It's like being redundant. One of my pet peeves.

Alas we hit this milestone in our marriage. No small feat being unequally yoked. That being said, I am so grateful for a man who would die for me and his children. A man who would give all he had to help women and children in need, okay some guys too. A man who lets me go to church and worship how I want, he let me home school our dudes, he likes all my "Christian" friends. I guess it helps that I go to the smallest church on the planet (just the way I like it) btw. He let our son go to a Christian college. Many other details of our life together speak in volumes of who Jesus is and how he has sanctified our marriage. Some of our friends call him a closet Christian. I remind him gently "every knee will bow".

I say all this to thank the King, and encourage those who have spouses that do not believe yet. Stand fast, stay the course, stand in the gap and pray. That even without a word they may be saved. 1 Peter 3:1 When it gets tough and it does, look up to the hills where our help comes from, Psalms 121:1. He will never leave you or forsake you, Deut 31:6. Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, and your household. Acts 16:31 So for me this covers it.

Twenty years later, I had hoped for a vow renewal ceremony with a saved man but that has to wait. I know all things work together for good to those who love the Lord Romans 8:28.

My standing prayer is Thank you Lord with long life you will satisfy E and show him your salvation. Psalms 91:16

Help me Lord be a woman who worships you, a wife that respects her husband, be a loving mother with a meek and quiet spirit, and is a chaste home keeper that blesses the kingdom.

God Bless you as you pursue holiness with your spouse.

Getting On with Life

My number one son is back at college, I miss him already! My lil foster dude is reunited with his dad, while this is a good thing it is still a hard pill to swallow. My house has become quiet once again and my lil guy has started to return to his sweet self. Having another boy in the house who was not raised with the same convictions was at the very least a challenge.

To say oh they are just boys did not cut it for me. Raising children in the admonition of the Lord is something deeply important to me. Foster dude brought many a "thing" that we struggled with.

That is over now. The Lord sustained me, thank you Father! I pray my lil guy will know and feel how much he is loved and adored, how much I am thankful for the gift he is to me. I haven't been able to stop kissing him (when he lets me) I just want to hold him and no 1 son as long as the Lord allows. Hopefully till I have not another breath in me when I am old and all gray.

God Bless all those loving foster parents and adoptive families who give freely.

FYI We are not real fosters we were called non relative caregivers, we got no money from the system. The Lord supplied all our needs cause dh lost his job that month we got him.

My Friend died last Saturday.

I am beyond what I thought I would feel, and think, and behave. My whole body feels tired. Morning has pretty much much consumed my thoughts, and yet the world goes on. Children need feeding, dishes need washing, heck took me a few days to shower. Thank God for my number one son, he has done the dirty work for me. I bet the kids are glad I haven't yelled.

Though I am so terribly sad, I do have a still peace that my friend accepted Jesus as her savior while she laid in the hospital bed with a tube in her mouth in what seemed to be a coma. They said she was non responsive, but when I got there and had put her mom on the speakerphone and we were talking, she started to move! This was not my imagination as her husband told me she hadn't done that before and he witnessed all she had done.

I prayed over her, I sang to her, I talked to her for and hour and a half and she responded! When I told her about Jesus her mouth moved, I believe she confessed Him! That is my peace.

I really did think she would wait for me for the next day to open her eyes, I told her I would record her son's voice and play it for her as he was not allowed in the ICU. I only wished I thought of it Friday.

She was an early riser so I told her she didn't have to wait for me, but if she did not to yell at the nurses. I told her I would be there when my dh came home from work. Now I wish I didn't wait.

Death happens when we are not ready, they are always shocking no matter if it was sickness or an accident. Now I can say this, an accident you don't expect so sometimes can be fast. D's accident lasted from Thursday afternoon to Saturday afternoon. Other loved ones in my life who died recently really went fast.

As I was thinking about D, I started to think about Uncle R. He really died in a good way for dying. N, died by her own hand by gun, that had to have hurt. Another uncle got hit by a van on a corner, and still another on his front porch. All pretty fast. I think that is best for them as they are not going through a long bout with an illness. Hubby cousin was not that fortunate he had a battle with cancer that was long and sad, while his dad died on a job site.

My friends death has made me think of so many things in my life that I want to do now. I don't want to just go through the motions of a mediocre existence. I want to live passionately, love with all that I have, not be bitter and quarrelsome (that will be hard).

While I am not ready to talk, I thought if I blogged it would help me to heal.
To honor my friend who didn't think she was worthy of much. She had a past, but so do I. She had lots of regrets, so do I. She will not be raising her son now, this was her second chance child. She all too well blew it with first child, and I prayed for them. Now what? Our lil guys are close now, I wonder if they will stay that way? Thirty years for us. My dad always said you can count your friends on one hand two if your lucky, but he didn't know Jesus then...

I could not get to today without the prayers of my brothers and sisters in the Lord. I know the Lord has strengthened me even though I am hardly functioning. He is holding me up with His right hand! I just pray my friends family can find that peace. Seek the Lord while he may be found...Is 55:6

Pic of our boys at my lil guys 6th birthday.

There is NO Holiness in Worldly Dance Recitals

I went to see a dear Sister's lil girl dance last night, and to my surprise, after the ballet portion was nothing less than disgusting to me.

What parent who is protective of their children wants to see them bumping and grinding and imitating things meant to be private? I don't get it, the sexier the move, the loader the cheers were.

We wonder why our culture is messed up? We have sex on the brain. We hate sexual offenders, and then put our little girls in sexy costumes begging for attention, shaking all they have, and wonder the guy they fall in love with only wants her for moments and tosses her away like an old newspaper.

What happened to ol fashion ballet/tap? I know we are in a fallen world and we all have done things BC, I continually need His forgiveness, but can we just Not put our children in a position of confusion?

Daughter: "Daddy I'm going out tonight."
Dad: "Where"
Daughter: "Dancing @ ********"
Dad: "Okay be home by midnight"
What will be the end of the scenario? Dad he hurt me? Dad I am pregnant? This is the Police we found your daughter dead?

I know that it is cut and dry but why do we sugar coat everything? Oh yeah that's another pet peeve I can rant about. "Meds for all Yippee" Poor me, blah blah blah!

Let's pursue holiness, let's think, let's pray! God is a good and loving Father let's come boldly to the throne and ask Him to help up raise up Godly children that it may be well with them all the days of their lives...God Bless you as you seek Him.

JC RYLE on Holiness

My Sister's Wedding Day

I love my sister! I am so happy for her to finally have her forever someone. My brother in law is such a sweet and gentle and easy going generous man. We are blessed to have him part of our family. I hope they add a lil' bundle of joy to the tribe soon.

Perfect Love casts out all fear. Thanks Father!