Working on the Proverbs 31 Woman~Who is she, How did she get that way?

I dissect my whole life when I am deep in a bible study. This is not my first time going line by line trying to find out who is this woman, how can I grow into this role?  

I suppose when you have a paragon (a model of excellence), you can pick up some things.  My mother, is a good woman, but did not discover the bible while I was in the training years. She worked outside the home when we went to grammar school "trying" to help make ends meat.  When I look back, I see the beginning of feminism taking root.  My dad was an alcoholic, so she picked up his curse, and training daughters to be honoring of husbands was not a thought.

When I got married, I was furthest away from this woman of virtue I see today as the woman I want to be. I want to be her for G*d, for my husband, for my children, for my friends, and for people who yet to know the King of Glory, who makes all things new.

What does this mean to me in real life this go around?  Well for starters, my goal this week is to deal with what I struggle with.  I know you're itching to know. My on going problem has been rivaling him, in what he says.  I have searched my heart for a long time on this and I do know myself.  When you come at me with what my pink eyes see as hurtful, I strike back, I argue, I cry.

I do have moments of victory when I keep quiet and just take it, but my flesh & mind over react lots, it is an on going trial. I am grateful that Yeshua is gently moving me to a place of peace where I don't feel the need to fight back,
because He sees me whole, even in my weakness.

Let's face it, marriage is not easy.  I cherish my husband, he is worth all I give and more!