Monday, October 25, 2010

Just Because God Doesn't Do Things as Fast as We want doesn't mean He has said No.

God has his own time line. He knows the end from the beginning.

We are praying for lots of stuff with my dad's recovery. Two weeks ago we were told to put him in Hospice by 2 docs, then later that week his primary said to wait and give him more time. We did.

Saturday morning my dad ate some eggs, when I got there, I fed him a bite of mashed potatoes, and a bite of lemon ice. So I will not put my time expectations on God.

Yes this is hard, yes I hate driving to the hospital, yes I am stressed by my own burdens, but I have a father in heaven who loves me and cares about every detail in my life and He has shown that to me in more ways than I deserve. Every testimony has a test, I don't want to fail. In my weakness He is girding me with His strength and love.

I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.
Psalm 121 The Museum's My Help Comes From the Lord

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Life Waits For No One

My dad went in for an abdominal aortic aneuysm surgery. He walked in fine but has yet to walk, talk, or do anything that resembles a normal recovery. He had major complications that caused catistrophic resutls including, ulsers, a mass on the vein, blood clots, thrombosis in the neck, cholesterol embolism, acute kindny failure, afib, low bp, pnemonia, no pulse in feet, needs insulin, dialysis, feeding tube, was intubated, & extubated, did a tracheotmy, and had an anitbiotic resistant infection called acinetobacter, and wounds so bad on his bottom he needed a plastic surgon to look at.
He went from his local hospital to one that specializes in patients with muliple needs in Tampa. I have to go pick up my mom thirty minutes away because she doesn't drive, then travel to Tampa, a hour and a half trip before all the pit stop she needs to make. This makes for a long day with all the other chores in my own world, you know like home schooling and taking care of my husband, pets, and home.
You may be thinking ma should come stay with us, I would agree, but she will not. I even suggested maybe to stay on the days we go see dad. This is conveniently ignored. My mom can't hear so well or chooses not to, so the ride is like a bad comedy of errors with her and my lil guy. They don't hear each other and make things up as they go along, and I hear it all. We drive all that way, get there and she can't handle seeing him like that, she cries, and asks me endlessly why is he doing that, like I have the answeres. I comfort her, tell her what I know, then she forgets and the process starts again about an hour later as we leave. Then pit stops on the way home begin.
Today she has called me everytime one of thier friends has called her, or just has to tell me one thing or another. I am not a talkative person so I usually only say something when asked because we have always had a hard relationship over the phone. Can we say oil & water?
I feel bad for my mother. I shudder of the thought of my husband being ill or loosing him. I just don't know what to do for her, except answer the phone, hug when needed, and pray without ceasing.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
Jerimiah 29:11-13 NKJ