I think it is beginning to feel like it is happening already and there not even out of the house. Go figure. I know I am being so emo right now. My lil guy is now 15 goes to karate 4 times a week and once a month on Sat. So I am still driving him around. He goes to Youth, and does a health class with some friends and if that isn't enough soon I will be teaching at our new local Co-op.
When my oldest went to college then law school it felt like I was going to die inside from missing him so much. Even though I was busy homeschooling my youngest, being on two homeschool boards, and helping hubs in our family biz. He was an only child for 13 yrs before we were blessed with his brother. My heart is so wrapped up in him. Now with my youngest, he is busy with thoughts of becoming a Marine. So he watches lots of videos after school work and chores. He loves history so he watches that too. So even though we are busy doing stuff and getting out, my heart is still overwhelmed with empty nester thoughts. Believe me I am not trying to make trouble for myself, it is just part of life right now. Has anyone else ever felt like that?
Bottom line I have to live intentionally right now and be thankful I have these two beautiful blessings with me. If my mom could hear me from heaven I hope she knows how sorry I am for leaving the state with her first grandson, and for not letting her babysit #2 (not because I didn't love or trust her, in case you are wondering). I just have been madly in love and passionate for my kids.
On there way to volunteer at the local Habitat Restore.
If you are a home school mom and are getting to the end of your rope at the end of the year, who do you turn to? Who is your Arron or Hur? Exodus 17:11 "So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed." Eventually, Moses became weary, and so Aaron and Hur responded by holding up his arms until the Israelites were able to finally defeat the Amalekites. Do you have a group that supports you? A trusted friend to say you can do this? I encourage you to seek out Godly women, Titus 2 women that will hold you up in prayer, phone/text support, or just getting a quick cup of Joe to get you out. If you don't know anyone in real life that will encourage you, there are many home school sites with wonderful support. I just joined Homeschoolscopes on Facebook. What a fun place! You get to see real women who love to share their hearts, ideas, blogs, and resources. 2nd Timothy 4:1-8 I charge you therefore before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at[a] His appearing and His kingdom:2 Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; 4 and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. 5 But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.6 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure is at hand. 7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8 Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.
We need to finish well. With Him all things are possible! God Bless you in your journey.
I have had a rough few years of deaths to say the least. We all know that life goes on, and it must no matter how hard the road, or how mushy you feel to be sinking in the sand. I have continued to home school my nephew & son through the last episodes of a series of sadness.
This past school year brings bitter sweet memories. My oldest just graduated law school under the Lords direction. My nephew just graduated high school, and my youngest son is moving onto middle school.
So off to my state wide convention for inspiration and encouragement I go.
First things first work. The Leaders Forum. My first. It was wonderful to meet and hear from all the moms and dads that work tirelessly to serve in the home school community. To hear that the struggles I face are not unusual. There is a new generation of home schoolers and I have yet to see anything good. Maybe it is the area I live in or I am so ol' school in doing this thing for the Lord and not unto men. I certainly feel like an alien. Academics are important but it is not the defining end result I am seeking.
I feel like with all the technology out there and ways to communicate, the younger generation just seems to want to be an island unto themselves. How can I help? How can we relate, and build relationships if we never meet? Yes I have plenty of online people that I share with, pray for, and the like, but what about our children? Will they still enjoy play dates? I know what you are thinking, plan it. I do. I do I do. We do. We just have so few who participate. As I found out, I am not alone.
I am so grateful to the leaders that spoke up, shared, and made me feel welcomed.
The exciting stuff for me was after the Leaders Forum, shopping before the crowds, then the PJ Party with Heidi St John aka The Busy Mom. Oh what fun, filled with yummy treats, laughter, and a good dose of reality. No one is perfect accept Jesus. This no mama drama made sure we heard that.
I was beyond giddy. If you haven't read her books I encourage you to get them. You will be blessed and your marriage and children will be too.
Bring me to tears was Cate Frates. A vintage treasure with her session, Take Heat and Be Encouraged! You are Uniquely Chosen and Qualified to Educate Your Children
I was beyond blessed to hear all the things that was true for my first son is still relevant and I am not on the coo coo train because I want the Lord to lead my home and our schooling.
Of course Hal & Melanie Young where fab too, though I didn't get a picture. All of this would have been for naught if my all time fav people were not part of this adventure. I am so glad my husband and sons came to get a lil R & R. I even got to go to the spa my last night to heal my weary back.
Joseph go to play a lil Man Hunt with his pal Jeremy before I crashed.
His brother was a graduate Sunday afternoon. Congrats to Dan Michael. One more Margo!
Seeing more friends come and go also made the weekend memorable.
Joe and Matthew sporting Bilbo's sword was fun.
Joe having fun at JM Cremps Booth.
My love in his proud papa law school t shirt at Sunset Sam's in the Gaylord.
Well if you haven't had enough of us or me by now you can catch me on facebook here I am thewifeypoo. 19 years and counting. Home schooling for life.
One year ago around Mother's Day my moms health changed. I saw her rapid decline just from being dehydrated. I guess that being diabetic didn't help either.
After visits with her Doc, I helped her start to eat better and make better choices. For a while she was doing better. Her Doc said her blood sugar has never been better. Great!
So off my mom went, daring to scoot around town without thought. My mom loved to shop, and talk to people, anyone would suffice. Her shopping excursions came at a cost, her diet! She shopped, got tired, and didn't really keep up with eating enough, in my humble opinion. He thinking was not the same after being dehydrated and now was getting worse. Her decisions and thought process was clouded, fuzzy, and just not rational at times.
I begged her to move in with us last May after being dehydrated and coming out of the rehab, but understandably she wanted to live in her own home. Is that my fault I didn't make her? I don't know. I feel like I should have taken more control, but I didn't because I think people deserve to have dignity when getting old. They lived for us, helped us and when they are old they just want to be left alone to do what they want. That is what my mom wanted.
I started to mourn her then and there. Right or wrong, that is what was happening inside of me.
Since my dad died our relationship got better. I had more empathy, I was more loving, I never rushed her while she shopped. Believe me if you knew my mom you knew I waited for hours. I am not the shopper she was. We could always tell how my mom was really doing whether she wanted to shop or not. That was the Litmus test.
Later in the year she started to go to ladies prayer with me, and for a while she went to church with my friend, then came to my church which also made our relationship stronger, cause the Lord was in the middle of it.
Sadly right before Thanksgiving she dropped scissors on the top of her foot. That may not have been so bad had she not been diabetic. Well it turned bad too fast.
I told her to clean it something you would not thought needed to be told, but we all told her. What she really did no one knows. She told me she rinsed it. I told her she needed to clean it with soap and water or peroxide. She told me she did that the next day...
Wed we took off to see Sean at law school. We stopped at Bushnell for her to see my dad's headstone. That is where I saw her boo boo. It was a speck, a dot, nothing anyone would ever think was bad. Who knew?
We had a nice lunch with Sean. I will treasure that forever. My son always sang to his Grandmother and she ate it up!
This love bond melted my heart.
Back home we went about out stuff. My mom's foot started hurting her more and more. I told her to go to the Dr, she made two appointments then didn't to either. That is where it all turned bad. I hadn't been down there for 2 weeks, Joe was sick, whatever I was, my brother had been there so I never thought that speck could get so bad. I was wrong! When I went after church, I was thinking how could that be?
The first picture, the first time in two weeks since going to Jacksonville. She made my brother put some cream on, I couldn't even was it off, her foot was so tender. I called her Dr office for something for pain. I still had no idea how bad it could or would get. They said to get her in there asap.
I told her, it they want to put her in rehab again to get antibiotics in her she was going. So it took a day to get a bed, then off she went.
You may not even believe how bad it got even with antibiotics.
That was shocking! After a week in rehab, the sent her to the ER for tests. One of which she refused. More time, more Dr visits, more care needed. She came home with me and my life stopped. I learned wound care, I made sure she got all her meds, ate right, and tried to make her as comfy as possible.
She was the center, while I still had to home school Joe, answer the phone for dear hubby, take care of our ol dog, and our house. Yes Christmas was upon us.
Christmas Eve I thought my FIL looked so good and my mom looked so weak, My uncle her brother died the day after.
My FIL died Jan 31st, our dog two days later, then March came.
My mom was bad. She had been getting dizzy and sleeping lots, she didn't want to eat much and didn't want to take her meds any more. The wound need a surgical debridement.
This is the next day when Home Care came. Looks good in a weird way. Not, the surgeon told me the infection was almost to the bone. Should he have taken her foot? Again I don't know. He Doc said she would not have survived it. Mom also didn't want to loose her foot.
Still got worse from there. They found a mass on her lung. Hello, this was much on the plate.
She spoke of dying more and more. Her blood sugar took a dive one day, I thought she had a stroke. I fed her watermelon for an hour till she was okay.
The last pic of her. That rubber is a drain, the surgeon took out her tendon that had been exposed while I was doing all that wound care.
When she could not make it to do further tests for lung because we could not regulate her sugar, and she was declining so fast her Doc called in Hospice at home, my heart sunk. What did this really mean? My mom would surely die sooner than later? How could all this happen this way?
So with the help of Hospice 3 days I kept on the best I could. Have I mentioned I have had a bad back most of my adult life and when my son got a reclining couch we hauled it up to his 2nd floor apt? So yes, my body was broken!
I got a hospital bed, that helped my back, I got a tray table for dinner, and a bed pan. We got new meds. I had to learn how to give her insulin. I will not go into the messy details of how bad it got on that last day at home, but I was so thankful our friends Dee & Sue had been over to visit with her and they helped me beyond words. It was not enough though. The night came, just me and Jesus. Her blood sugar was way high, I called the nurse and she called the Hospice facility after she saw the wreck I had been changing sheets and cleaning my mom all day & night. I could not do it another day. My limit had come. The nurse got here about 12:30 am and they took my mom at 3:30 after we cleaned her up and changed the bed for the last time. When I went to bed my husband had not even know all I had been though and had done. My heart was racing, I couldn't sleep I was so wound up. I just cried. That woke dear hubby, and he held me. I don't know when but I finally feel asleep.
The next afternoon was the beginning of the end.
All clean up, a new bed in a beautiful place, but not yet the beauty to behold that was coming.
My goofy lil guy making the most of it all. I am so grateful he had all this time with his Grandma.
Sean was finished with one class and had two more when I called him and told him Grandma was asking for him. He left without breath of hesitation. He got there that night and made her day!
Deana made it the next day with Angie (thankfully) Billy and his family and Ed were all there having good memories, and my mom said "don't ever stop these conversations."
I was playing some worship music, but Sean the crooner said to put on a certain song and when I did she lit up.
I wish I had a pic of Ed with Ma, but I will always have Angie saying when she saw them looking into each others eyes it chocked her up, cause she could see how much they loved each other. That was the truth! She was his mom for 25yrs, Ed's mom died when he was 24 ish.
My moms childhood friend Elinor came to visit, as you can see it was a tear jerking time for me. It was a short visit, but I am thankful.
My pastor and his wife came, my mother in law came. I let my cousins know, my last aunt, some of my moms friends. She was very loved.
There is Deana & Angie friends forever! The way it should be. Two beautiful women I am blessed to have in my life.
Children are a heritage from the Lord, no matter where your walk with Him is, while there is life there is hope.
When everyone left it was me and Ma, then Mon our friend Julie, our pastors wife came and sang to my mom in the spirit, it was sweet and healing. My mother in law also came up. The most influential women in my life. I was honored.
They left and I thought something changed in her breathing but my heart was pumped and racing so I went home for what seemed like only minutes when the best nurse called and told me it was time. Me and Eddie rushed to get there and I got to tell my mom all the things that you want to tell the most important person in your life for your whole life. I felt like my mouth kept going on and on. Ed thought she passed but I knew she hadn't. I told him to get Shirley and she confirmed she was still with me, I continued to pour out my love and thankfulness to her for everything but my last and what I am most thankful for is here giving me Jesus. Again, it is well with my soul.
How many children get to usher their parents to heaven? God saw fit to allow me to be blessed to be with my parents as they took their last breaths on Earth, before their eternal lives begin.
Thank you Father for my parents.
Mommy, I know you will have the best Mother's Day with your King.
I pray you are bold and have sweetness with your loved ones as you are lead by the Holy one to introduce them to the One who gave everything that they may live forever, and it would be well with your soul as it is mine, no matter how sad, joy comes.
We are trying a new approach this year. Ditching the traditional textbooks, some of you may say finally!
Over the summer we "unschooled". If you don't know what that means, it is mostly child led learning. The concept of delight directed learning leans toward educating to a child's interest, whereas child led learning, the child is doing what they want and learning from life through playing games, exploring, other interests, tv, whatever means they choose.
As I prayed and watched my son over the summer, I felt like there was not enough biblical training in this method. Even though we read the bible, and have a chore list in place. I felt in my spirit that even though I want my child to play freely, I cannot let my biblical duties and desires to train up a child to be left into my child's hands. This is my responsibility. Just like I will not turn my child over the the school system, I will not leave him alone. The bible says in Prov 29:15 But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. There are many scriptures that speak of training children, so the idea of radical Unschooling is not for me. Educating children is the parents choice, the parents responsibility to chose the how, the what, the where. I would hope you seek the Lord for what is best for your child and your family. God has given each child his own bent, prayerfully ask the Lord what is your child's bent and how to go about what works best in your situation. With that in mind I was blessed by my local home school groups used sale and got Joe Teaching Textbooks Math. It is on the computer, and he loves it. We are also doing some notebooking with timelines on the subjects he chose for 4th grade. I will be at the library lots this year.
God bless you as your journey takes twists and turns. Enjoy the moments of unwrapping your children as the gifts they are.
I feel like I don't have a marketable talent. In this season of my life, me & dh have always felt while there are children in the home mom takes care.
I really don't think a woman can be everything to everyone, and also get what she needs, if she is burning out at both ends. G*d made us the weaker vessel. We have to remember He is our provider. We have to trust He will give us what we need.
Are we wanting to get the "extras" to keep up with Jone's? Does the Father want us to go through a valley to refine our hearts, to learn how to trust Him and NOT self?
The P31 woman was NOT the provider, she was a helpmeet, she was smart, she did have slaves. My tools help, but I still have to push the vac, dust, do the windows, etc.
They learned the skills of weaving and sewing because they needed clothes, she was talented enough and smart enough to sell also, while her home was cared for by slaves.
If she was not a woman of means, with slaves, she would just be working at home to get the job done, she would never be hired.
Her husband was known in the gates, I am sure his signet was upon her merchandise.
I don't think we can just say my husband is okay with working, if the Lord has convicted us in His word. If your husband said I hate the neighbor kill him for me, would we? No!
The Word says seek first the kingdom, we are the weaker vessel , we are to be chaste home keepers, mans curse is to toil. He made us different to complement each other, for two different roles.
Financial trials like all trials is to test us, for the perfecting of our faith. To really submit to His will when everyone else says something different is where we have our victories in the spirit.
Where are we going to stand?
I do believe we have different seasons in our lives where we are open to the Lord's teachings.
He will deal with each of us how He chooses in His time. Once He gets a hold of your heart, you will be putty!
Reflecting
on this woman, to me is daunting as I see the areas of my own lack.
Becoming like her is not my goal. My goal in this study to see how her
heart is right. I am never going to be a "Martha" type which the P31
woman looks like to me. I am gleaning a
heart of wisdom, to become more like Jesus, to invest my time correcting
my heart and develop into His likeness, by incorporating some these
things I am learning into my life for His glory as I do it to Him, and
bless my family & others.
Me and the boys are going down
for lunch with my mother, so I am praying I keep my big mouth in check
and be kind and understanding...still working on my meek & quiet
spirit : )
Who am I that you should be mindful of? I am a daughter of the most High King, a royal priesthood, a holy nation.
Trying to Honor DH ,Trying to train up a child...That I might glorify the King.
I am a stay at home, home schooling mom. I enjoy scrapbooking, stamping, garage sales, the beach.
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